Endurance

“By doing this piece I came to terms with my current situation and resolved the past. When I painted this piece, I was still mostly in the fog of my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), however I was beginning to come out of it. This is a self portrait of me in my coma. I was in graduate school on the track to becoming a college professor (the dream of teaching). I had already been nominated for the award “TA of the Year,” a rare honor for someone who just began teaching. I dreamed of marrying my fiancé and having a family. I also dreamed of being a healthy person with a good memory. My TBI severely hurt these dreams. I was so mentally hurt I lost the legal right to give adult consent. This is required for all of those who want to get married in America. A good memory is important if you want to have a family also. About 3 years of my memories were shattered by my injury. As I painted this piece, my new reality was realized. I also realized that this is a lot to bear. This explains to me why, aside from natural causes, the most common form of death for those who have TBIs is suicide. The question is truly ‘How much more can you bear before you cave in?’ My quiet answer is ‘Much more.’ I don’t want to taunt troubles, but despite the bad, wrong acts, deeds and insults to the heart we must endure, with life there is hope in tomorrow.
By doing this piece I was able to recognize and accept the past and my current situation. This act gives the past less power and helps the future and the ‘now’ of life hold more power and strength. By doing this painting I can now build more for the future and help it be brighter.”

-Rachel Truscott